Whoa Tiger....Calm Down

 A couple of months ago I had lunch with a friend from high school that had read a post I put on Face book about infertility.  She had confided in me and told me that she went through the same thing.  She had 11 unsuccessful IUI's and and finally got pregnant doing IVF.  She told me during our lunch that she had found it helpful to talk to other women going through the same thing and suggested that I try going to this website called thebump.com and read what other women are writing and maybe post things myself.  She warned me though that these women were very bitter and to tread lightly because they get angry very fast.  I thought to myself "I am angry and bitter as well about this whole process so this will be great!"  So for the past couple of months I have reading and posting on the infertility message board.  I found it to be very calming and helpful to talk to women that were going through the same thing I was going through.  I offered advice to those that were struggling through through the two week wait and to those just starting out with IUI's.  Most of the women were doing IVF so I felt that I couldn't offer them any advice but I prayed for all of the women on the board consistently.  Well today I posted something on the board about how hubby and I took a break this month due to the fact I was supposed to have a laparoscopy surgery and I asked the women if any of them had taken breaks and if they did, were there periods still 28 days or were they longer and I asked if I should take a pregnancy test or not. Soooooo, the responses I got were outrageous:

"It's not our fault that you asked a really silly question.  If you only come here to do this, you will not be well received.  This you would know if you spent any time on this board.  Best of luck to you."


"Uh No. This is NOT cool. At all. Go Away. If you were truly infertile, you would have never asked this dumba$$ question to begin with."


So as you can see I was outraged.  How can women who can clearly see on my profile that I am going through infertility be so nasty?  I did receive some nice words of wisdom from the more sane women on the board but mostly is was all mean.  I can see now why my friend warned me about this message board and needless to say I will not be posting on there anymore.  I need to find another place to grieve with more understanding (and sane) women.