Thoughts

So as I sit here at my job (I am a nanny and the kids are asleep) thoughts are flooding my brain.  I was supposed to have this LAP surgery last Thursday to see if I have endometriosis  and I ended up having to cancel it due to the fact that I got the flu.  Now I am debating on whether or not to reschedule.  Ever since going to my RE  months ago I have done everything he says to do because I want to increase my odds of getting pregnant.  There is just something about this surgery that I am weary about.  It is a very expensive surgery but not very invasive.  I don't think it is the surgery itself I am scared of.  I think I am scared they aren't going to find anything and I will feel like I wasted my money.  I don't know.  I think our plan is to try naturally for a couple of months and then go to IVF.  Honestly I never thought it would come to IVF.  I thought maybe we would just need a couple of IUI's and then we would be pregnant.  The very fact that we have had to wait this long depresses me even more.
In other news, I auditioned for Cinderella on Sunday and I am anxiously awaiting the cast list that is supposed to come out later this week.  It is kind of nice to be anxious about something else for a change.  For those that know me, you know I am not a girly girl.  I don't really like to dress up, I just bought my first pair of big girl heels last year (I had to have friends come help) and wearing makeup is usually a pain in the butt.  For some reason, I have always wanted to play a princess on stage.  I don't know if it is the songs that they get to sing or the big ball gowns but I want it all!!!! I love being on stage and know that everyone is watching and listening to me.  I have a great group of friends that always come to my shows no matter what.  My amazing husband usually comes more than once when I am in a show and knowing he is in the audience makes me want to do 10 times better because he is my biggest critic.
Well I guess that is all that is on my mind at this moment.  Thanks to those few that will read this.  I really enjoy writing this blog.  Any suggestions would be helpful.