To worry or not to worry

Hello,
I haven't posted in a while because I am on vacation and I have not been around a computer but I now have my mom's computer and some time so I thought I would post something. 
As you all know from my other blogs I have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now and for that entire two years I have always known what day of my cycle I am on.  Well since the surgery this month was a bust I just didn't start counting my days.  So as I sit here on the beach in Florida I have no idea where I am in this cycle.  Now on one hand this is very freeing but on the other I am kind of freaking out!! I feel a little out of control.  Like I am off some sort of schedule.  I am sure that if I go back and look at a calendar I could figure it out but I am not entirely sure I want to do that.  I guess I just need that permission that it is ok not to worry for a minute.  I hate feeling like everyday I am getting older and my chances of getting pregnant are going down.  I want to have lots of kids and I know that time frame is getting smaller. 
So for now everyone I am going back to reading my book (Water For Elephants....it is soooo good so far) and not counting my days and hope that the weather and the sound of the waves makes me feel better.